The Fear Factor

It’s funny how other people perceive you,  so many of my friends consider me so strong and determined, a dog with a bone if you will,  I’m that girl who when I decide I want something I will stop at nothing to get it.

Well in some areas of my life … that is true.

If I look at this in a physical sense, sure, I have achieved some remarkable things in my short life because I was persistent, consistent and determined.  So if I take power-lifting or CrossFit as an example.. I would try and try over and over again, training and pushing myself to the limits to get stronger, faster and heavier lifts. I am not afraid to fail, I am not scared of missing a rep, I would just do my absolute best and that would be good enough for me.  Happy with my effort but never satisfied, but that keeps me coming back for more.

But when I look at this can do, nothing will stop me, going all out attitude, I can honestly say I haven’t applied this same level of commitment or attitude in other areas of my life…. And I have only just recently worked out why I can push myself so hard in one area but then in another I can’t.

Fear… now it’s not fear of failure, I’ve already worked out I’m ok with missing shots, as long as I am taking them, what it relates to specifically is the fear of rejection.

I know who I am and who’s I am, yet I still struggle with this fear of rejection.  I like to think I don’t care what others think of me and I always tell myself, “what others think of you is none of your business” but there seems to be this deep subconscious belief, which I think stems from moving so much as a child and having to start so many new schools, that I have to be careful what I say or do in case so and so doesn’t like me, cause then I won’t fit in and I’ll have no friends.

What a ridiculous belief to carry into your adult life!! I mean come on! I am a 32 year old woman, who has done time in the Navy, worked my way up in a successful corporate role and yet still have this limiting belief… just imagine the opportunities I have missed because I have been frozen in fear for worry of being “rejected”.

It has bred a pattern of self-sabotage, where I have decided to go for a goal, personal or business (not physical cause I have that s4!it covered) and the moment comes I hit my first obstacle or hurdle and instead of just pushing on through I freeze.

I enrolled in this course which was designed to help me find a certain amount of new clients in my business in 15 days. All was good in first few days, the planning, the preparation, the behind the scenes work.. No dramas. But the moment I was required to pick up the phone or reach out to any of my contacts I froze. I came up with so many excuses, “my offer wasn’t relevant to them”, “they wouldn’t be interested”, “what would they think of me?”…  I paid a lot of money for this course and I got to my cliff edge and I froze!! Again!! I’ve done this time and time again.

But the good news is this time it is different, thank fully this time I was actually AWARE of what was going on! And because of my awareness I am now in a position to do something about it.  The first step to a resolution is identifying that there is an issue.

So how am I going to overcome this? To breakthrough this limiting belief? This bull story I have kept telling myself for the last 30 years??

Well I guess that’s going to be the journey, I will be blogging my way through this process because I know I am not alone in this limiting belief, and If by sharing my story and journey I can help someone else do the same then my job is done.

I decide right here and now that I will not allow this to go on… I know it can be different and I will not stop until I have made it out the other side.

So here’s to the journey….




3 thoughts on “The Fear Factor

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  1. I love this post ❤️

    Something that helps me “warm up” in my business when I’m having a “fear of rejection” moment, or a “don’t want to be pushy” moment, I call the person I am most comfortable with first.

    Sometimes it’s a day where I’m feeling a bit gung-ho, so I “Eat the Frog”.

    Mark Twain once said that if the very first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you could get through any day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you that day.

    Your “frog” in business or study is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it.

    Sometimes I go for comfort, some days I just eat that damn frog.


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